No way he'd sit that far away from that poor child.

Oooh a fellow fan of children. Can I get your email?

Number of pen pals I've met on reddit: 7

Tell me all the horrible shit you did to your ex-wife and I'll give it to you.

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Thank you, unwashedfezballs, for voting on patricktomlinson.

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"Don't point out my erection. If she notices it then she notices it and we can go from there. Don't look at her and creep her out..."