I missed the draft. Did Big Liz go in the 1st round?

12  2019-04-26 by JoeCumiaDotCom

4 comments

She got picked 2nd overall by the 49ers. They plan on putting her at nose tackle in their 3-4 defense, her natural position, where she can eat space by taking on multiple blockers at once due to her sheer size. The 49ers are hoping to get her in the weight room and into their conditioning program ASAP this offseason to slim her down to a svelte 315 lbs before the season starts, as they feel she's a little too large right now to excel in today's league. Most analysts are giving this pick a B+, as she has some character concerns due to being a self-described "psycho".

They're a little concerned with her lateral movement but have devised a new training module where they pack the ends' hand warmers with cheese curds.

I think she's a new Fatback for the Raiders

I liked the part where the white guy picked the strongest and fastest black to fight for his team