Asking for pokey sticks to dissect di’s panties

"Ohhhhhhh" during the "He's Anthony!" theme song bit.

pulling stalker pattys wig off

You’d know if he accidently said something funny because he would repeat it 5 times and then say something like,”see guys I can be funny too, right?”

You’d know if he accidently said something funny because he would repeat it 5 times and then say something like,”see guys I can be funny too, right?”

It was pretty funny when he jumped on that homeless guy’s cake.

I remember listening to the Darian O'Toole thing and she was on the phone with them just rambling and Opie yelled at her SHUT UP YOU TWAT or something like that. I loffed.

This was so good

That poor cunt died at 40 from "complications with a broken leg". I actually feel bad for her.

Pretty sure she had cancer, too.

Pulling patty’s wig off and jumping on the homeless guys cake almost made me cry. Didn’t think those were funny at all.

Opie hasn’t said one funny thing that I can remember

“I really needed you that day”

Pathetic if true...

When Joe Piscopo told him he had taped different versions of his show Opie asked him what he did with the good one.

leave it alone

Most of the erock bashing he did made me chuckle

The 1 minute Kristen Bell interview was a classic.

His mental breakdown that one summer he was focusing on Halloween. Fake Tesla signing bonuses and even a fake office job were pretty funny times.

The fake sales job was the best!

"Human garbage" is hands down the line of the decade

Occasionally he could something really funny but overall he's the Mario Mendoza of funny

*sniff

"Wanna suck em?"

"there's more to that story" - Gregg Hughes on Anthony Cumia addressing getting troll fished by a man pretending to be a 14 year old girl

I’m still trying to find the limits of this beautiful machine

See what happens when you drive it off a cliff you faggot

When Jimmy gifted Ozzy a small fucking library on his birthday when he was in studio. Ozzy left the studio, leaving the books behind. Opie filmed the books and said to Jimmy, “that’s what he thinks of your stupid books.”

That dry drunk spent hours picking out those books. Ozzy never liked Jim, Sharon did and forced him to be nice. She wasn’t there that day...

louis talking about how he has a big dick, and opie asking him who his stunt double with the tiny wang was on his HBO show

Opie: (referring to the crying daughter of a horder) oh just fucking move away and forget she ever existed.

He was funny in the gangam style bit, and in ants hipster rant he made a funny saying that hipsters will eventually ride unicycles and wear first basemans gloves ironically

When Bobo was talking about his dick surgeries when they first met him, Opie asked what was wrong with his dick. Bobo mentioned the doctor and Opie said something like "did he take your dick?" It was pretty funny and got a laugh out of the room.

Tearing the pages out of that ladies sex book

“What makes salt water salty?”