"Please pass these many emails you will undoubtedly receive onto your CEO's, Elected officials, and upper management" - Poor Unemployed Fatass

14  2019-04-22 by crookedmile

13 comments

My favorite line, there are some good ones, but my favorite is "please don't change anything in the body of the email".

Joe Cumia has written perfection, and don't you dare try to support him using your own words. It completely lacks the emotional impact of "not only for Mr. Cumia, but for AMERICA IN 2016" (my second favorite line) which is sure to tug at the heartstrings of the President of Connecticut College.

This guy is an untapped well of stupidity.

"Yada, yada, yada...Reddit has defeated me."

Your town/Business/Organisation has recently and unjustly cancelled a concert by either 2U, Almost Journey, or both.

Nice form letter, stupid. I'm sure people nobody will mark that as spam, preventing anyone else from seeing it.

His idiocy never fails to entertain.

Tl;dr is he asking for more funding for glory hole installation?

Oh gosh, I hope nobody misuses this information. That would be just terrible.

He thinks we hate him because we're failed musicians.

He really expects some small business owner or podunk local government to take up this fight on behalf of some unknown “tribute” band? This is straight out of some cheesy 80’s movie. He really thinks people are going to read this and do something about it rather than tell their secretary to just book some other local wedding band.

How funny would it be to send this shit to upcoming gigs, but at the end it says: "Mr. Cumia is an upstanding member of the community. DESPITE the allegations, he is NOT a PEDOPHILE, ABUSER, RACIST, CARD CARRYING NAZI, or a PEDOPHILE. ALL of these claims are COMPLETELY fabricated, he has never abused a child physically or sexually in the past, and does NOT enjoy drinking their spit."

The dozens of archived racist Tweets are totally fabricated? Posts like this only encourage people to prove him wrong.

Well now we know who to email...

Please pass these many emails you will undoubtedly recieve onto your CEO's, Elected officials, and upper management.

Just a pure psycho. Always this underlying hostility in everything he writes. He also seems to forget most adults work at jobs, and verbose emails from strangers with sentences written in all caps are typically not top priority/read at all.