Patrick takes on Scorch

13  2019-04-19 by SomervilleDan

8 comments

Has lost every single fight. We're impotent.

k.

Scorch v. Fatrick

A battle that epic would crack the state of Wisconsin into fragments.

Patrick your dick is really bad

Where is that conversation taking place. Is he Down to arguing on Yahoo Answers?

Worse, his own shitty website that looks plucked straight out of 2002.

He can't win the battle of the bulge, so he has to pretend someone calling him tubby is actually a political militia attacking his beliefs. Seems like he cares more than 99% of us, who only think about him as this sub's current pinata.

The only success he's ever had in life was him attacking the alt-right. Therefore, every battle he fights needs to be framed as "a battle against the alt-right" so that if he wins, he'll get another moment in the sun with a whole new batch of shitty articles written about him and a shinny new set of 38k "fans".

Every day of this sad sack of shit's life is desperately trying to recreate his 15 minutes of fame.

"Hi my name is Patrick S. Tomlinson. You might remember me from my abortion tweet that went viral 5 years ago..."