r/opieandanthonyxyz: FACT: Joe Cumia has won the Candy Apple Challenge night at the Big Apple Ranch for four years running, managing to fit all fifteen apples in his colon before the other contestants could fit ten. This is the only thing he has ever won or even been good at.

FACT: Joe Cumia has won the Candy Apple Challenge night at the Big Apple Ranch for four years running, managing to fit all fifteen apples in his colon before the other contestants could fit ten. This is the only thing he has ever won or even been good at.

1 2019-08-15 by GreekIsExtra

16 comments

2 Compound_MediaPR 2019-08-15

That's called an Italian caramel apple.

1 TheBlueAwning 2019-08-15

Joe is a regular contributor here, and I think the last thing the sub needs is infighting among it's base.

1 just_a_mean_person 2019-08-15

I think your biggest(only) value on here is how absolutely livid Joe gets at the mention of your name. With all the threats you can practically see the spittle covering his keyboard as he murmurs angrily as he types with just his index fingers.

1 GreekIsExtra 2019-08-15

I imagine him laboriously copypasting every comment and post that enrages him to Homeless Bono and threatening to throw him out of the band if he doesn't downvote it immediately.

1 TheBlueAwning 2019-08-15

You would have nothing to talk about if I didn't post here. Stop.

1 just_a_mean_person 2019-08-15

We could talk about what a Christ killing heeb you are without your presence.

1 TaumpyTearsxyz 2019-08-15

Fuck off you batshit manlet.

1 4stepsbackward 2019-08-15

I always knew he had it in him.

1 PhishInVa2 2019-08-15

Congratulations Joe! 🎉🎊🍾

1 SpitItoutSocratesxyz 2019-08-15

It's still fucking hilarious to me that the Big Apple Ranch thing isn't a bit or something we made up to fuck with him. He actually posted a screenshot of his desktop with an email from BAR right there for all to see. Good lord what a fucking imbecile/actual fag.

1 FourzyLogo 2019-08-15

Well, if you pick at the paint, I belive the screenshot only said "one more step to complete your subscription" not "renew your subscription" or anything like that, so it's entirely possible, to quote another likely mo named Joe, that one of us signed him up for it using his email. Still though, I don't recall him ever using that totally plausible scenario as a defense, so maybe Santa Claus does exist.

P.S.

Shit, he didn't delete the message either did he? Even though the whole point of the tweet was about deleting a troll message, and that message was newer than the Big Apple Ranch email, which was already opened. Why wouldn't he have tweeted "these redditards signed me up for a gay newsletter! #projection #maga" or some shit?

Shit I never really started to believe this one until just now. This is so fucking funny.

1 Bakersfield__Chimp 2019-08-15

He 100% has been to and is a member of the BAR. This has been confirmed.

1 mvcv114 2019-08-15

Anyone can go to (notu2) and ask him. While you are there, book one of the many outstanding tribute bands to play for you kid's bar mitzvah or mall store opening.

1 fokm 2019-08-15

You’re wrong. Joe also won when the honorable Judge Marilyn Millian of The People’s Court rendered a verdict in his favor.

He really showed us redditards that we had no affect on his life.

1 Persianschlong 2019-08-15

you're forgetting the microphone acoustics conga

1 InnocentChrisKuhn 2019-08-15

He would turn Compound Media into a winning operation, if he gets rid of Keith the Thief who progressively squanders this company's resources