It's like every part of the his face and head was created by extending every slider to the max. Biggest face, biggest ears, biggest eyes, biggest mouth..

Too bad it never extended to your tiny little pizzle stick.

Also nice fake teeth fucker, you can't even notice

You okay, man?

NO I'M NOT AND YOU'RE THE SECOND FUCKFACE WHO AXED ME DAT IN 14 MINUTES and oh god should I see somebody about this? I'm having a psychotic episode. It's pretty rad.

I really hate myself and everyone else but I like that stupid Billie Eilish song

Duh

But it means the world to me that you are here for me in my time of need, Abe.

You're a real friend. Not like that bitch Bam's Seed.

I axed for her friendship and she ghosted me. And in my initial message I specified: "DON'T GHOST ME BITCH."

She still did

Bam's Seed? How could you do?

I thort we was 2 crazy frens goin thru it together babe! YOU FUCKIN YUMILIATED ME BABE!

You hurt my feelings and I feel really bad.

You're the only person I ever wanted to be friends with in my whole life and your rejection cuts me so deep babe

O geez buddy

This guy's gonna shoot up a preschool "for you."

Speaking of preschool

Did baby genius get her internet privileges taken away?

No I just heard from her. She deleted all her posts and stuff but her account's still there. And not to guilt you or anything gay like that, but I imagine she'd like to hear from you. I don't know if you heard it but it turns out she's a super talented Baby Genius. She sings beautifully.

Y y y

I got ya, buddy. Shaniqua's a busy gal and she's gotta wade through tons of pictures of tiny white dicks in her DMs before she gets to the newest ones.

If I had to guess how she'd respond I imagine it'd be something like "Nigga u gay."

I get that but I'm like the only guy who isn't calling her a nigger or trying to fuck her. I don't harass her. I don't expect nothing of her. I just laugh at her yuma and want to be her bud.

She's like thousand miles away from me. I ain't trying to fuck this chick. I seent all her flaps long ago. They hold no purchase over me.

I just like her. I really do genuinely like Bam's Seed.

And, I want her to be my buddy and I tried to earnestly ask her for that kind of a friendship.

And she didn't even write back... she's the only woman I have ever found to be funny besides Sarah Silverman, who I can never respect because Kevin Brennan broke her hymen.

Needless to say, I'm devastated.

My heart hurts and I don't mean because of Doritos

Why do you want internet friends? Shit, I don’t even want any new real life friends.

I don't have any friends. My only friend was a black dude who barged into my life in 3rd grade and then acted like he didn't know me once I lost my war with the drink.

All I want is one friend.

I drink that possibility away every fucking day, twice a day if I wake up too quickly.

I just wanted to be Bam's Seed's friend. That's all. No further thought was put into it.

Just thought a man could be friends with a lady and no weird sex stuff needed to occur. Which is crazy because I could draw her flaps from memory alone.

Is it fucking so impossible that I just like a girl for who she is and I'm not trying to stuff her box?

Why are you talking to yourself you fucking weirdo?

I'm gay

Do you have a problem? Maybe it’s time to pull back on the drink for a bit, brotherman.

Boy don't I know it!

Turns out I'm a gay faggot who can stop drinking

My best and worst friends are the same guy: Lance Captan of Spring Valley, CA.

Everyone here is my friend except single action army.

I like you. You should either check into a loony bin or go to your closest convenience store and tell the cashier (who is stuck there and has to be nice to you) your life story and all your problems. I see crazy fucks doing that all the time.

I love you too and want to have sex with you too bud.

I am scared of that shit.

I go sometimes on 3 day crazy guy vacations where they play me qirh Ativan and tell me I'm a good boy but my goddamn doctor keeps trying to get me in a 30 to 90 day thing.

I'm fucking terrified of that. I hate that. There's crazy folks in there and I sometimes engage them in fisticuffs. And it's terrifying.

Just stay in your room and do pushups or something. If the retards try to talk to you tell them to fuck off. If they try to make you eat with the retards, refuse. They'll eventually just bring your food to you. I had my buddy bring me a PSP back in the day because they took my phone and I watched Da Ali G Show and played Driver '76 all the time.

Yo for real, real talk, retards are actually interesting as fuck in these situations. They got stories bud. Just flip the switch and let them tell you amazing retard stories for 7 hours. Like, I don't even regret being nuts at times like this.

You're a very bad man Joe and I wish that you will cease to exist.

Moooooooooooo

🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄

Now he looks like a horse.