On my mudder, Joe Rogan. Fucking year was ‘99. Crazy fawkin’ year, dog. Met this black dude in leather, Morpheus or something. Real slick cocksucka. Scored two pills off of him, but he only let me choose one. Fucking took this red one, and holy shit, Joe Rogan. This world isn’t what you think, dawg.

146  2019-07-12 by OpiesInstantReplay

16 comments

Next thing I know, Joe Rogan, I’m on this fucking dystopian ship. Fucking had this crazy fucking girl, tho. Bitch’s name was Trinity, or some shit. tones down his voice She asks me to plug it in her. I’m fucking thinking, ‘I’m getting laid, dog!’ Turns out she wants me to literally plug in some fucking apparatus in the back of neck, Rogan. I’m starting to trip the fuck out as she goes unconscious, and I’m still dealing with that fawkin’ DA in Boulda, Rogan. I needed to fucking chill the fuck out, so, I started doing straight heroin off her tits when she’s out cold. Then this cocksucka in glasses a Brooks Brothers suit tries to fight me in the subway. Fucking had to lay into him with some Jiu Jitsu, you know me, dawg. I’m fucking savage, and beat, get this wheezing, cough over a 100 of them. You woulda loved this place, Rogan!

We need a documentary

I KNOW KUNG FU N' SHIT, COCKSUCKA!

Hahaha you fucks are killing it with the Joey shit!

I’ve never seen the appeal in this guy or found him the slightest bit funny in any way from the small amounts I’ve heard. Just perpetuates my theory that everyone named Joe is a complete worthless faggot

While your theory most likely holds true, I'd like to say Joey Diaz is pretty funny in a club setting.

Joey “Lying sack of shit” Diaz

I don’t know who this guy is and I don’t understand this bit.

Linger longer.

There is no spoon? What the gawk are you talking about kid? I can see the spoon right there cocksucka!

I cooked some shit on that fuckin' spoon, Joe Rogan, and I told that kid there is no him. Then Trinity gave me that monkey, dawg sentence ends in phlegm

they plugged my into a machine and i was an instant black belt in brazilian jujitsu

Joey Diaz being in the Matrix is the funniest shit ever.

"You humans are a plague, a cancer of this planet. You are a disease. And we are the cure."

Joey: what the fuuuuuck, bro?

Yeah man (hits the blunt) I saw that too doing dmt with Eddie

Never say having a career is harder than tricking a retarded midget.