Keep drinking. You will eventually sleep.

Would you say your stomach "completely twisted on itself" à la Ruth Banks of the world-famous Comedy Arena in McKinney, Texas?

A gun

Eggs and bacon on toast. Gatorade and more vodka

It better be Red Gatorade.

Red gives me heart burn

Orange is the definitive gatorade

Not when you get comp'd like bovine Joe.

Drink more. Not even joking. Obviously long term don't but some alcohol will normalize you now.

not completeley wrong: your liver will need to process the fresh alcohol 1st, making you feel ok... it'll just process the backlog of toxins later

Exactly. As long as you just have a few belts at that stage you can struggle through. There's a reason the hair of the dog is a thing.

Vicodin, Gatorade & jerk off a bunch

gatorade and some alka seltzer.

Get a jug of pedialyte and drink the whole thing. Take 3 aspirin and then hang yourself where your family will find your stupid, hungover, bloated corpse. Stop drinking vodka unless it’s mixed with bleach, you fucking prick.

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I've heard heroin, but I wouldn't advise it.

Monster rehab iced tea. Works great for me every morning before work. Downside is you're going to have to shit instantly.

Rockstar Recovery is a good non-carbonated equivalent, and Pure Zero has a shitload of helpful caffeine.

All those vitamins

8 ball

Jack Daniels too harsh, baby boy?

Marijuana

Switch to a nice smooth Canadian whiskey

When was the last time you ate? Drinking on an empty stomach is a bad idea. especially that swill you drink. Lay off the Popoff, be a man and drink Jameson

Pickle juice

That's legitimately the best thing