Yep, this is complete retardation.

Yes he really captured his essence there.

Nice text wall, stupid.

Bovine Idiot can never get to the fucking point.

This story is such bullshit. I know 2 guys that have prosthetic legs and you'd never be able to tell unless they wore shorts, which nobody does on a motorcycle. So how did the kid point out the "Lt. Dan magic leg"? Fucking idiot.

Remember the time he drove in front of traffic on the freeway to save a paper flag?

Or the time he took the time to mentor and fix the guitar of an underprivileged black child?!

He daydreams that gillete commercial in reverse where he puts his hands on a black guys chest for disrespecting a woman

He sits at home all day having BudLite dreams about situations that make him look good.

FTFY.

He also talks about willpower as the guy who can't get his daughter to school on time and can't stop eating food that makes him feel miserable.

And if you use it to quit it's at the very least not cold turkey.

You know he also hates when “libtards” pull the exact same shit. He is no better than any ass that pretended their 5 year old said they wanted to smash the patriarchy.

In history class they were talking about slavery and my 7 year old daughter was sent to the principal's office because she said "slavery still exists due to income inequality and institutional racism." They sent her home for the day but I'm taking her out for ice cream.

It makes him sound like an intrusive blow hard

He’s a pussy-nosed little faggot piece of shit

Joe is the Last Real American, single-handedly thwarting the libtard hordes who live to destroy American values with their wanton flag desecration and disrespect for veterans.

I want to try to hire Joe. I’d pay him almost 20 an hour, plus benefits. My office is also 8 mins from his condo. Plenty of OT too. A nice honest living for a man with 4 kids.

More genuine.

I would love to see if Joe could actually work for a living. If it works out, I get a good employee. If it doesn’t, I get a shit load of laughs. Win Win situation. I doubt he could pass a background check.

It would be worth it just to see what his background check brings up.

I could only imagine. I know he has a bunch liens and he might have a previous bankruptcy too. I know he’s been arrested at least once.

There’s a part on Jon Glaser Loves Gear where he has this exact conversation and the joke is what an oblivious moron he is.

QUEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR!!!

You don't think young children frequently make references to movies that were released a quarter century ago?

effeminate goat cackle

Maybe she’s been spending too much time with Uncle 🐜.

Any time spent with him is too much.

Even if this story is true and not just another of Joe’s MOOOs (which I doubt), the fucking nerve of this peacetime potato peeler to equate himself with a soldier who lost his fucking leg. He’s so hateable.

As Joe was typing "The most valuable thing you can give to your children is YOUR TIME." Layla walked in to the room.

Layla : "Dad, Can we..."

Joe: "Shutup honey, Daddy is making a PSA on parenting."

Layla: "Well how about later..."

Joe: "Sorry, later I have to own some libtards on reddit, go play in your room in silence."

Him: Lost it overseas.

Me: Military?

Him: Yes I was.

Me: Potato peeling accident?

His d-day was when his hand slipped and he scratched a finger with the peeler

That smarts!

No, Joe, he lost overseas while in Greece during a freak gyro shop accident.

The spongebob bandaid gave it away.

When you know, you know.

"You ever watch your best friend die of salmonella in your arms, man? Or find your best buddies lying face down in a pool of their own melted butter?"

He correlated serving in the military to somehow making your kids clean their room. What a fucking moron. Way to stay on topic Joe. Rambling about absolutely nothing by the time he got to his last paragraph, if you can call it that.

Layla is fucked. She's gonna be one of those "never had a chance" cases

Let's get her to 18 in one piece first, she still has 7-8 years of dodging frying pans to go before this becomes a concern

We can only hope a Hasidic homeboy punches joes lights out

Definitely the 2nd one. Joe is so self-centred he would take the first as a validation of his dumb views.

I’m hoping Kuhn is out of jail by then and they meet in this sub.

she'll be posting nudes and attention whoring on whatever incarnation of this subreddit will be in 10 years after she drops out of college because of all the psychological damage caused by Joe Cumia parenting and his insolvency

for a little sneak peek of what it will look like check this out

Wow

No she will change her name and only speak to him twice a year.

He won't know, as he'll be rotting in some dingy fourth-rate nursing home, fumbling for his call button as his Nigerian health aides point and laugh at his torn and soiled SOA sweatpants. It is, after all, the example he set re: his own mother.

Hey kids come hark a story with a moral from pipesmoking uncle Joe.

"Lt Dan magic leg?" Isn't that kid 10 or 11? I had VPN and english grammar explained to me by one not much older. Nice genes Yosip'

And at that we bumped fists and went on our way.

Fucking yuck.

"not right to protest certain things"? what? Peer pressure is wrong...so believe everything that me and your uncle tell you is true

The self awareness of a cow

Along with the udders

No offence to non vets but anyone who's served knows exactly what I mean.

You didn't serve your country, Joe. You had a little taxpayer-funded skydiving excursion during peacetime, that was probably court-ordered to begin with, ya petty thief, layabout, spud peeling retard.

Joe's military service is like a fluffer in porn.

The whole concept of that being a real thing is so funny

That and "bull prep"

I think that's why I always found the word "prep" funny in the context of Jim Norton's AIDS medicine

Another totally imaginary interaction that just happened to validate Faggot Joe's retarded belief system, as they all seem to do. "Hey dude, nice stump! IED?"...yeah, sure Joe, sure.

He could tell by looking in his eyes.

and how long was this traffic light?

Layla is only late to school because her dad is thanking American heroes.

He tells readers to give their children their time while constantly wasting his time on this subreddit getting shitted on. Day in, day out, in the middle of the fucking night, this fucking asshole was reporting hundreds of comments, switching between 4 or 5 alt accounts, constantly making new ones to engage in "espionage", even posting a picture of himself with a goddamned midget on top of him. Shut the fuck up, you're in no position to give advice to anyone.

HE WAS A FIGHTER, A PARATROOPER, A RADIO PRODUCER, A GOVERNOR

"Thank you for your service."

The fucking douche posted midget porn on Reddit on Easter morning. Surfing for fetish porn to post here while an Easter basket and at least one child are with a few feet of him on a holy holiday.

As a veteran who saw just as much combat as Joe did (none), I definitely hate every word of this post passionately.

Air I just want to thank you for your service. Your sacrifice doesn’t go unnoticed. I would shake your hand and buy you a beer if I ever had the pleasure of meeting you. 🇺🇸

Aren’t motorcycles loud? Two guys are just chilling in traffic on their bikes having a full conversation? Get the fuck outta here.

When SAMCRO Joe speaks, people shut up and listen. The guy probably turned his bike off in respect for Joe.

at a 3 minute red light

Just a couple of heroes sharing unsolicited tales of bravery and talking bout their traumatic injuries while waiting at a red light. Happens all the time in the real world. If you incels got off reddit every once in a while, youd know that.

"THINK independently" and say the pledge of allegiance.

"Educate them to use their minds to come to their own conclusions" by "gaining wisdom from people who have already lived life for a while".

Nice contradictions, you fat, stupid old cow.

The one thing he does right is to "demonstrate how some...make avoidable mistakes" by being eneducated. He does a great job of that.

Day dypo is ad unvortunit BISSAP, awlroight

Joe what did I tell you about posting cringe bro

Even if this story was true, I guarantee that Joe made it sound like he joined the military out of wanting to sacrifice for his country and not because he was a degenerate criminal who joined to get out of serving time.

Yes remind the man you supposedly admire about the most traumatic event in his life. "Your mom dead yoo? Yea? Cool, see ya bro"

Did any of your squadmates survive? They didn’t? Well semper something my good man Then I showed him my 82 airborne division hat and flashed him that look You see guys this is what happens when you travel on the joe lane

Don't burn the flag, stand for the pledge of allegiance, stay seated for the anthem, respect police, don't protest "certain things", but most importantly, honey, THINK FOR YOURSELF.

This is as good as the story he also made up about saving Ant's life when they were having a dip in some calm, shallow water.

To be fair, those people are known for not being able to swim.

Whether you served in peace time or during conflict

Of course he has to fellate himself.

it makes you just a little more determined, focused and capable than the average non-vet in many ways.

Nobody is coming home from a conflict more capable, focused or determined. They’re fucked up. If you’re a lowlife loser who gets forced to wake up early and peel potatoes for 12 months it’s a different story.

"Always TAKE the time TO blackmail AND physically threaten your YOUNGER brother into supporting you FOR life. I win again, LIBTARDS!"

Many famous authors, poets, etc die penniless and are only vindicated years after their deaths. These words that Joe writes...none of that is going to happen to him because he is very stupid, you see.

The daughter was thinking god damn it I’m going to be late again

When he drops Layla off at school with his bike he probably thinks he looks cool like that episode of the simpsons where homer enters the classroom with the bike and knocks a desk over

What a lying fucking liar.

I can't wait until she starts beating the shit out of him.

"Then I taught an underprivileged black girl to play mediocre guitar for boomers."

"Whether you served in peacetime or during conflict, whether you came with fists clenched or unclenched, it makes you just a little more marbled with fat."

Assuming this story is true and not just another of Joe’s MOOOs, the fucking nerve of this peacetime potato peeler to equate himself with a soldier who lost his fucking leg. He’s so hateable.

"I have to ask..."

Did you? You just had to insert yourself into that person's day to ask an incredibly personal question?

"I took a few minutes out of the day to explain what had just transpired to Laya" - isnt ALL of your day pretty much free for this kind of thing?

​

Also, when the guy said he was military, I picture Joe dramactically pointing to a tiny Airborne patch on his vest. The other guy had no idea that Joe was PFC Busboy

Like Joe Sr teaching his kids responsibility?

He is so full of shit. He always has a " Im more American than most" story this time of year. He must have spent a good half hour writing that fake story just to pat himself on the back. He is trying to make sure people acknowledge him during the holiday.

The most valuable thing you can give your child is time?

Wow, he's really going out on a limb there. Dumbass thinks he's a modern day philosopher

This freeloading cow never so much as secured a bungalow during Grenada and he wants to speechify like he's goddamn Captain Miller from Saving Private Ryan.

Unlike most of you non-vets, I know exactly what he’s talking about and he’s right. Whether you serve in peacetime or conflict, being in the armed forces changes you as a man and although my time with the army was brief - I spent around five hours there as part of an army recruitment day - I often look back and remember climbing the cargo netting on that obstacle course and credit those precious moments for instilling the grit and drive that defines my character through every action of my life even now.