“Then this mother fucker does so much fucking speed, Joe Rogan. I’m not even kidding. Fucking guy ran from coast to coast three times. He’d have made a bush baby running from the cops during the Bronx riots blush. Anyways, this guy tells me, “Joey, you got to invest in this thing called ‘Apple.’” No idea what the fuck he’s talking about, but I go to my mailbox and there it is, a check for $8.4 billion dollars. Needless to say, me and this guy Steve Jobs we’re doing copious amounts of blow of these hooker’s tits. They don’t call it “Silicon Valley” because of computer parts, Joe Rogan. Man, the fucking 80’s were crazy, dawg.”
Joe Rogan, did I ever tell you about the time I met JFK? My football team got invited to the White House, can you believe that shit, bro? But any-fuckin-way, while we was there waiting to meet the president I had drank so many fuckin' Dr. Peppers that I was about to fuckin' piss myself, Joe Rogan.
I mean I was about to fuckin' pop and I couldn't find a goddamn bathroom! Well then all of a sudden JFK walks in; that guy got so much monkey back then Joe Rogan, but anyway, I thought "Well shit, I'm fucked now. I'm gonna piss myself in front of the president of the US of fuckin A!
When he asked me how it felt to be there, all I could think to say was that I had to take a piss. On national TV I said that shit, dawg! Well that broke my mother's heart; I had embarassed the family back in North Bergen.
JFK was cool about it though. He took me to his private bathroom, and then later that night me and him did coke and spitroasted Marilyn Monroe.
I touched her tit Joe Rogan. Then you know what happened after that?
I shot a full fuckin wad into my tighty whiteys Joe Rogan. Im sittin there feelin this hippie bitches tit and just dumped a pint of ejaculate into my own drawers.
Alabama is NOT just full of Bumkins! The damn NASA space program started in Huntsville, So all that bash Bama, DONT Knock It Before Ya Try It! lol.... This is a good one and I’m sure Uncle Joey did some of that moon dust & had shrimp fresh from the Gulf!
What A Legend!!!
23 comments
1 feedfatrick 2019-06-25
JERSEY!!!!
1 OpiesInstantReplay 2019-06-25
“Then this mother fucker does so much fucking speed, Joe Rogan. I’m not even kidding. Fucking guy ran from coast to coast three times. He’d have made a bush baby running from the cops during the Bronx riots blush. Anyways, this guy tells me, “Joey, you got to invest in this thing called ‘Apple.’” No idea what the fuck he’s talking about, but I go to my mailbox and there it is, a check for $8.4 billion dollars. Needless to say, me and this guy Steve Jobs we’re doing copious amounts of blow of these hooker’s tits. They don’t call it “Silicon Valley” because of computer parts, Joe Rogan. Man, the fucking 80’s were crazy, dawg.”
1 GhostofRoeCumia 2019-06-25
stares like a chimp
1 GroovyBastard 2019-06-25
Joe Rogan, did I ever tell you about the time I met JFK? My football team got invited to the White House, can you believe that shit, bro? But any-fuckin-way, while we was there waiting to meet the president I had drank so many fuckin' Dr. Peppers that I was about to fuckin' piss myself, Joe Rogan.
I mean I was about to fuckin' pop and I couldn't find a goddamn bathroom! Well then all of a sudden JFK walks in; that guy got so much monkey back then Joe Rogan, but anyway, I thought "Well shit, I'm fucked now. I'm gonna piss myself in front of the president of the US of fuckin A!
When he asked me how it felt to be there, all I could think to say was that I had to take a piss. On national TV I said that shit, dawg! Well that broke my mother's heart; I had embarassed the family back in North Bergen.
JFK was cool about it though. He took me to his private bathroom, and then later that night me and him did coke and spitroasted Marilyn Monroe.
1 SuperTubsPeterson 2019-06-25
I sucked JFK's cock. I'm gay, Joe Rogan.
1 [deleted] 2019-06-25
[removed]
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1 ElFaporino 2019-06-25
" Lt Dan got so fuckin yacked, Joe he thought he could fucking walk again!"
1 SuperTubsPeterson 2019-06-25
Swear to God, his fat Asian wife gave me a blumpkin while he was in the bathtub.
1 aRTie02150 2019-06-25
I. Love. Joey Diaz lying posts.
1 IveBeenCalledSxyB4 2019-06-25
This lying faggot looks like he sweats black tar from decades of smoking.
1 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2019-06-25
Dawg my fungi toe is killin mothafuckas all along the west coast
1 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2019-06-25
I inspired apple computer Joe Rogan
1 NortheastPhilly 2019-06-25
I touched her tit Joe Rogan. Then you know what happened after that?
I shot a full fuckin wad into my tighty whiteys Joe Rogan. Im sittin there feelin this hippie bitches tit and just dumped a pint of ejaculate into my own drawers.
1 SuperTubsPeterson 2019-06-25
Swear to god, Joe. This girl got the shit smacked out of her at a black panther meeting.
1 Mattactical24 2019-06-25
No Hippies In Bama..... LOL!
1 bdrum_16 2019-06-25
I'm still waiting for a follow up on joey adventures in space
1 MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2019-06-25
Did an interview with the guy who wrote the book. He's a fucking asshole and his book is trash. The movie is 10x better and still pretty forgettable.
1 ElFaporino 2019-06-25
Yes didn't Forrest smoke weed and play jazz in his series?
1 MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2019-06-25
Yeah, he also was an astronaut, ran for senate, and was a fat fuck.
But the bottom line is Winston Groom is a fucking asshole.
1 ElFaporino 2019-06-25
Haha, what did he do that's so cunty?
1 Mattactical24 2019-06-25
Alabama is NOT just full of Bumkins! The damn NASA space program started in Huntsville, So all that bash Bama, DONT Knock It Before Ya Try It! lol.... This is a good one and I’m sure Uncle Joey did some of that moon dust & had shrimp fresh from the Gulf! What A Legend!!!
1 SuperTubsPeterson 2019-06-25
What?