How do I fuck a chick on the first date.

0  2019-06-15 by ThrowHisAssOutHesA

I already told her I'm not interested in a relationship, but she's going out with me anyway. Good sign, right? Figure if I pay for the meal then she'll have to do it.

I hate women so rarely do this but I'm horny and wanna see if I can get a fwb thing going so I no longer have to pay for prostitutes.

Any tips?

49 comments

1  Action_zombie 2019-06-15

Don’t.

1  ThrowHisAssOutHesA 2019-06-15

Why nawt?

1  uncorrectlee 2019-06-15

What is this sub

1  ThrowHisAssOutHesA 2019-06-15

This is the only sub that probably gets laid, even if it's just with fat chicks. I can't imagine asking for advice on any of the dating advice subs.

1  kingbelwas 2019-06-15

The friendliest place on the world wide web. Sup buddy

1  Persianschlong 2019-06-15

your sisters twat

1  OpiesInstantReplay 2019-06-15

How did ya find this place, buddy? :)

1  uncorrectlee 2019-06-15

Sorted by rising

1  comic631 2019-06-15

sounds gay

1  uncorrectlee 2019-06-15

Youd know for sure

1  superheater187 2019-06-15

Turn back, brotherman. This is the best advice I can give you.

1  uncorrectlee 2019-06-15

Wasnt planning on sticking around this swamp of edgelords

1  TheRealJirnNorton 2019-06-15

You're in luck! I have a five point plan to score with any babe

1. You never let on how much you like a girl. 'Oh, Debbie. Hi.' 2. You always call the shots. 'Kiss me. You won't regret it.' 3. Act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. 'Isn't this great?' 4. When ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. 'Now, the lady will have the linguine and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice.' 5. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

1  schmuckOnWheels 2019-06-15

This is great iced tea

1  GroovyBastard 2019-06-15

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W6mDUmPZ0Y

1  JerkStoreJ 2019-06-15

Be good looking

1  Ralph_Cifaretto 2019-06-15

Aw *maaan*!

1  ThrowHisAssOutHesA 2019-06-15

She asked me out so I'm hoping she finds me good looking and doesn't have a terrible memory of what I look like (haven't seen her in almost a year).

1  4stepsbackward 2019-06-15

Stop killing them first.

1  Turbo-tommy 2019-06-15

Every time that happened to me it had nothing to do with how I was and how much of a whore they were. Ask how their relationship with their dad is, if they say not good or never met him, your'e in luck.

1  ThrowHisAssOutHesA 2019-06-15

"So how's your relationship with your dad?"

"Really good."

"Check please."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjuzxiuIbjs

1  OpiesInstantReplay 2019-06-15

Here’s where you fucked up:

Having dinner with a chick. Just go out for a coupe of drinks, if they’re into you, they’ll drink more and then fuck. You’re filling her up with carbs and that ain’t gonna do it. Also, show her this sub.

1  ThrowHisAssOutHesA 2019-06-15

Fuck, you're right. Well the restaurant has a bar section. We can go over there after.

I don't want to drink though, maybe I can secretly order a non-alcoholic beverage.

1  OpiesInstantReplay 2019-06-15

Go to the bathroom during dinner, give the bartender a 20 and tell him when you order a vodka soda to make it just soda. He’ll get it.

1  tapetape2 2019-06-15

Idk if that works in the #metoo era especially if the bartender is a cuck he’ll prob tell her and distract you while she escapes.

1  OpiesInstantReplay 2019-06-15

If the bartender is a male, he’s most likely fucking and doing blow with half the waitstaff. I fucking miss that industry.

1  MrFeedYoNana 2019-06-15

Plus, how do I even know the bartender will be in the bathroom? Wokka wokka!

1  feedfatrick 2019-06-15

Buy her an new iPad and offer to suck her cock

1  fourStrokes1900 2019-06-15

a tried and tested method

1  iPadsFromPizzaFace 2019-06-15

Roofies

1  throwbenny 2019-06-15

Tire iron is quicker and you already own one

1  Persianschlong 2019-06-15

hold up your fist and say, I normally knock my date's teeth out, but tonight, tonight this is going in your ass.

1  IAmPatricksFatBody 2019-06-15

Lots of light physical contact. Nibble her lip when you kiss her. You just have to get her turned on enough to overcome her inhibitions.

1  ThrowHisAssOutHesA 2019-06-15

How do I greet her? Hug and kiss on cheek or is that gay?

1  IAmPatricksFatBody 2019-06-15

It’s not as important how you greet her as it is that you’re confident when you do. But I don’t see how you could go wrong with that greeting as long as you don’t let the fact that you think it’s faggy get in your head.

1  ArgumentChamp 2019-06-15

Drink with her and just chat like she's a guy.

1  AirBuddDwyer 2019-06-15

"Are you into docking??"

1  [deleted] 2019-06-15

[removed]

1  PsychopathyRed 2019-06-15

"Do you know where the bathroom is?"

"Just over there."

"Good because I really have to take a shit."

1  TR4UM4T1Z3D 2019-06-15

Show her that you visit this sub

1  EasilyForgotten1138 2019-06-15

"Do you like science fiction?" HER : "I do!" YOU : * slides Gate Crashers and Starship Repo across the table towards her* HER : "Let's take this party back to my place, child".

1  NortheastPhilly 2019-06-15

Be yourself

1  revolvingmonk 2019-06-15

Surely /u/stephen_paddock_bot has some good advice. Stephen?

1  Stephen_Paddock_Bot 2019-06-15

Book yourselves a room on the 32nd floor of Mandalay Bay...you'll look a pimp using the service elevator and there's prime views of the strip!

1  throwawayoanda2017 2019-06-15

At a glance thought it was “child”

1  ThrowHisAssOutHesA 2019-06-15

That's because the mind sees what it wants to see, throwawayoanda1488.

1  OpiesInstantReplay 2019-06-15

Did OP close the deal?

1  ThrowHisAssOutHesA 2019-06-15

Date's in a few days.

1  OpiesInstantReplay 2019-06-15

Ah.