Joe Rogan you don't know dawg. Hinchcliffe had his tonsils removed as a kid so he can deepthroat your fuckin cock like a gook throats a ramen noodle dawg. Tony's such a good faggot about it he pulled down his pants and slid his thong to the side and let me finish blowing my load on his asshole. Dawg....... that's when I looked up and saw the sexiest fucking tatoo in the world Joe Rogan. Right on the tramp stamp Hinchy had this tattoo that said "plz cum again" but the letters were spelled like it was cum. Tremendous.
Diaz - "First thing I did was make sure it wasn't some sort of fuckin' highway patrol, so I had to get rid of a whole eight ball, Joe Rogan, it wasn't easy at all!" Wheezing laugh
Rogan - "No way! Did it end up being highway patrol?"
Diaz - "It wasn't highway patrol, I figured that out right as the fuckin' alien came out of his ship and starting yelling at me! Here I am, Joe Rogan, all coked up and arguing with a fuckin' alien that has no idea what I'm saying!" Wheezing laugh
Rogan - "That's insane! What ended up happening? Did he approach you?"
Diaz - "I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan. This fuckin' little green prick pulled out a fuckin' plasma pistol and shoots right at my fuckin' car, let me tell you, Joe Rogan, I've never seen something exploded so quick in my fuckin' life."
Rogan - "No way! What ended up happening? Did you call the cops?"
I got customers walking in right now asking me fucking questions. I'll continue in a few.
Diaz - "I couldn't call the cops, Joe Rogan, my phone was in my car, which was in a million pieces all over the place."
Rogan - "That's crazyyyy. What ended up happening? Did he just fly away in the UFO?"
Diaz - wheezing laugh "You really think I was gonna get that green bastard get away? I screamed at him 'Yo! What the fuck are you doing? Fight me like a fuckin' man you little punk!' you'll never believe what happened next, Joe Rogan. I put the fuckin' prick in a headlock!"
Rogan - "No wayyyyy! Did he pass out?"
Diaz - "I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan, not only did he fuckin' pass out, but he started bleeding from his fuckin' ears. So there I am in the middle of Arizona standing between my exploded car and and a fuckin' UFO with a dead alien laying next to me. Still coked up out of my mind" Wheezing laugh
Rogan - "That's crazy. How did you end up getting home? You should have taken the UFO!"
Diaz - "Get this, Joe Rogan, as I'm standing there I thought to myself 'hmmm if this green little prick can fly a UFO, why can't I?' so I walk in the UFO and what do I see? An Alien stripper and about half a key of fuckin' alien cocaine! I couldn't believe my eyes, Joe Rogan. It was ridiculous."
Rogan - "That's crazy, did you explore the UFO? Did you find any DMT?"
Diaz - "First off the stripper asked me if I wanted a blowjob. It was in her alien language, but I knew exactly what she was saying. So I pull out my cock and this fuckin' alien broad sucked on it like the fuckin' world was ending! I took one bump of that alien coke, and let me tell you, Joe Rogan, it felt like 1986 all over again! The coke was off the charts." Wheezing laugh
Rogan - "No wayyyyy! Did you find out how to fly the UFO?"
Diaz - "It was so easy, Joe Rogan, I pressed one button that looked like Mars, and within 5 minutes we were there. I've ever seen any form of travel faster than a UFO, swear to God, Joe Rogan. You can make it from Jersey to LA in less than a minute."
Rogan - "What happened on Mars? Did you see any evidence of life on the planet?"
Diaz - "Let me put it this way, Joe Rogan, do you know Trenton New Jersey? Well imagine Trenton, but everything seems red, seeing as the surface is red. I seen cars all over the place. The place is full of life, I'm not sure why NASA hasn't announced it."
The way he says, "Joe Rogan" after random sentences is such a deliberate decision and not some verbal tick like he tries to make it seem. He wants to be seen so much as a crazy character and not the Rogan coattail rider that he is
Dawg I was driving this black '78 Monte Carlo I bought from Tony Papadopolous for a half ounce of blow back in North Bergen. This crazy Greek fuck had a restaurant out on Bergenline Avenue but he lost it cuz of the blow dawg but I knew months in advance joe rogan like a DOCTA guess how I knew dawg he was out of olives joe rogan CRAZY SHIT a greek restaurant with no olives is the kiss of det dawg
Dawg this fuckin ufo door opened and out came this hairy, wrinkly mother fucker that looked like a mixture of a ballsack and a cock. He said CoCo, I've been watching you since the 80's, cock sucka. Then he said you may remember me from the 80's, my name is.... ALF. Joe Rogan this cock looking cock sucka whipped out the fattest bag of coke I've seen since I sold to Bobby and Whitney. This was the real flakey shit too, the shit you know once you take your first line you're going to having an instant fuckin hard on. Joe Rogan dawg, we partied for fucking hours while listening to Zeppelin and Sabbath and gumming and snorting booger sugar like we was in Hoboken New Jersey dawg. That's when this little mother fucker told me, "hey CoCo, I'm hungry dawg". I suggested we get some cuban sandwiches, but nah dawg this little cocksucka had bigger plans.
He said "CoCo let's eat some fucking stray cats, dawg". I was taken back by this shit dawg... I didn't know about eating cats, but I was so coked up that I would have eaten this little deformed muppets asshole if he told me to Joe Rogan. We go looking down the streets looking for cats and can't find fucking shit dawg, not a fucking single cat. So this little cock looking mutha fucka says "hey CoCo I know where we can get a bovine cow that's down for some shit". I said where cocksucka, he says "long island New York dawg". I'm hungry as a motha fucka at this point so I say lets go right now.
I couldn't see shit in this fucking flying ufo Joe Rogan so this little ALF mutha fucka says okay I've spotted our bovine I'm beaming this faggot up. I'm expecting a cow and have a barbecue Joe Rogan. Instead it was this bovine eyed wop guinea faggot named Joe Cumia Joe Rogan, I believe you know his brother. As soon as he gets beamed up this cocksucka pulls down my pants and starts sucking my cock dawg, and it's fucking good he's had some practice with this shit. Alf and I just spit roasted this ginzo mulatto mother fucker all night, he definetly wasn't white. After we both nutted on this faggots face and huge bovine eyes he looks around and says "hey this isn't the big apple ranch". FUCK YOU u/doxxer100 is the main point of this bit
21 comments
1 Dr-ButtertitsMcGilly 2019-06-14
And get this Joe Rogan. These 5 fuckin alien bitches came out and they each had 3 tits like Total Recall. Second best blowjob I ever had Joe Rogan
1 BananasAndBlow1976 2019-06-14
Hinchcliffe's was the best, amirite?
1 juschippinyababe 2019-06-14
Joe Rogan you don't know dawg. Hinchcliffe had his tonsils removed as a kid so he can deepthroat your fuckin cock like a gook throats a ramen noodle dawg. Tony's such a good faggot about it he pulled down his pants and slid his thong to the side and let me finish blowing my load on his asshole. Dawg....... that's when I looked up and saw the sexiest fucking tatoo in the world Joe Rogan. Right on the tramp stamp Hinchy had this tattoo that said "plz cum again" but the letters were spelled like it was cum. Tremendous.
1 aRTie02150 2019-06-14
Diaz - "First thing I did was make sure it wasn't some sort of fuckin' highway patrol, so I had to get rid of a whole eight ball, Joe Rogan, it wasn't easy at all!" Wheezing laugh
Rogan - "No way! Did it end up being highway patrol?"
Diaz - "It wasn't highway patrol, I figured that out right as the fuckin' alien came out of his ship and starting yelling at me! Here I am, Joe Rogan, all coked up and arguing with a fuckin' alien that has no idea what I'm saying!" Wheezing laugh
Rogan - "That's insane! What ended up happening? Did he approach you?"
Diaz - "I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan. This fuckin' little green prick pulled out a fuckin' plasma pistol and shoots right at my fuckin' car, let me tell you, Joe Rogan, I've never seen something exploded so quick in my fuckin' life."
Rogan - "No way! What ended up happening? Did you call the cops?"
I got customers walking in right now asking me fucking questions. I'll continue in a few.
1 GhostofRoeCumia 2019-06-14
You moving some bread bowls?
1 aRTie02150 2019-06-14
Diaz - "I couldn't call the cops, Joe Rogan, my phone was in my car, which was in a million pieces all over the place."
Rogan - "That's crazyyyy. What ended up happening? Did he just fly away in the UFO?"
Diaz - wheezing laugh "You really think I was gonna get that green bastard get away? I screamed at him 'Yo! What the fuck are you doing? Fight me like a fuckin' man you little punk!' you'll never believe what happened next, Joe Rogan. I put the fuckin' prick in a headlock!"
Rogan - "No wayyyyy! Did he pass out?"
Diaz - "I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan, not only did he fuckin' pass out, but he started bleeding from his fuckin' ears. So there I am in the middle of Arizona standing between my exploded car and and a fuckin' UFO with a dead alien laying next to me. Still coked up out of my mind" Wheezing laugh
Rogan - "That's crazy. How did you end up getting home? You should have taken the UFO!"
Diaz - "Get this, Joe Rogan, as I'm standing there I thought to myself 'hmmm if this green little prick can fly a UFO, why can't I?' so I walk in the UFO and what do I see? An Alien stripper and about half a key of fuckin' alien cocaine! I couldn't believe my eyes, Joe Rogan. It was ridiculous."
Rogan - "That's crazy, did you explore the UFO? Did you find any DMT?"
Diaz - "First off the stripper asked me if I wanted a blowjob. It was in her alien language, but I knew exactly what she was saying. So I pull out my cock and this fuckin' alien broad sucked on it like the fuckin' world was ending! I took one bump of that alien coke, and let me tell you, Joe Rogan, it felt like 1986 all over again! The coke was off the charts." Wheezing laugh
Rogan - "No wayyyyy! Did you find out how to fly the UFO?"
Diaz - "It was so easy, Joe Rogan, I pressed one button that looked like Mars, and within 5 minutes we were there. I've ever seen any form of travel faster than a UFO, swear to God, Joe Rogan. You can make it from Jersey to LA in less than a minute."
Rogan - "What happened on Mars? Did you see any evidence of life on the planet?"
Diaz - "Let me put it this way, Joe Rogan, do you know Trenton New Jersey? Well imagine Trenton, but everything seems red, seeing as the surface is red. I seen cars all over the place. The place is full of life, I'm not sure why NASA hasn't announced it."
Should I continue?
1 ParamoreFan69420 2019-06-14
I had to pull over my big rig, almost lost control on I-80 laughing so hard at this
1 Hokaido251 2019-06-14
HAHAHAHA CHAPTER OF THE DAY IM CALLING IT NOW
1 Turbo-tommy 2019-06-14
Yes
1 rdoran93 2019-06-14
yes & please include a scene where alien coke is snorted off a sphincter
1 yevyoyevyo 2019-06-14
Lmao of course you should continue. This should never end
1 smashthafunk 2019-06-14
The way he says, "Joe Rogan" after random sentences is such a deliberate decision and not some verbal tick like he tries to make it seem. He wants to be seen so much as a crazy character and not the Rogan coattail rider that he is
1 halfwholediminished 2019-06-14
I have a very low tolerance for liars!
1 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2019-06-14
As do I my good fellow, for if the truth won't do then something is amiss!
1 Doc_McCoyXYZ 2019-06-14
I do not like...assassins.
Or men of low character.
1 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2019-06-14
Dawg I was driving this black '78 Monte Carlo I bought from Tony Papadopolous for a half ounce of blow back in North Bergen. This crazy Greek fuck had a restaurant out on Bergenline Avenue but he lost it cuz of the blow dawg but I knew months in advance joe rogan like a DOCTA guess how I knew dawg he was out of olives joe rogan CRAZY SHIT a greek restaurant with no olives is the kiss of det dawg
1 rdoran93 2019-06-14
please continue
1 feedfatrick 2019-06-14
This is fucking gold
1 AlanSmithee23 2019-06-14
Diaz is a liar and a complete piece of shit, but he’s still more respectable and more successful then Nana and The Worm.
1 BananasAndBlow1976 2019-06-14
That would be the most realistic story he has ever told.
1 juschippinyababe 2019-06-14
Dawg this fuckin ufo door opened and out came this hairy, wrinkly mother fucker that looked like a mixture of a ballsack and a cock. He said CoCo, I've been watching you since the 80's, cock sucka. Then he said you may remember me from the 80's, my name is.... ALF. Joe Rogan this cock looking cock sucka whipped out the fattest bag of coke I've seen since I sold to Bobby and Whitney. This was the real flakey shit too, the shit you know once you take your first line you're going to having an instant fuckin hard on. Joe Rogan dawg, we partied for fucking hours while listening to Zeppelin and Sabbath and gumming and snorting booger sugar like we was in Hoboken New Jersey dawg. That's when this little mother fucker told me, "hey CoCo, I'm hungry dawg". I suggested we get some cuban sandwiches, but nah dawg this little cocksucka had bigger plans.
He said "CoCo let's eat some fucking stray cats, dawg". I was taken back by this shit dawg... I didn't know about eating cats, but I was so coked up that I would have eaten this little deformed muppets asshole if he told me to Joe Rogan. We go looking down the streets looking for cats and can't find fucking shit dawg, not a fucking single cat. So this little cock looking mutha fucka says "hey CoCo I know where we can get a bovine cow that's down for some shit". I said where cocksucka, he says "long island New York dawg". I'm hungry as a motha fucka at this point so I say lets go right now.
I couldn't see shit in this fucking flying ufo Joe Rogan so this little ALF mutha fucka says okay I've spotted our bovine I'm beaming this faggot up. I'm expecting a cow and have a barbecue Joe Rogan. Instead it was this bovine eyed wop guinea faggot named Joe Cumia Joe Rogan, I believe you know his brother. As soon as he gets beamed up this cocksucka pulls down my pants and starts sucking my cock dawg, and it's fucking good he's had some practice with this shit. Alf and I just spit roasted this ginzo mulatto mother fucker all night, he definetly wasn't white. After we both nutted on this faggots face and huge bovine eyes he looks around and says "hey this isn't the big apple ranch". FUCK YOU u/doxxer100 is the main point of this bit